Keeping Children Happy, Safe, and Confident Online

Last week, I hosted a parent workshop on Digital Safety in the Primary School. While these kinds of sessions are now a regular part of the school calendar, this one grew out of some very real challenges we’ve been seeing, particularly with students navigating group chats outside of school (more on that shortly).

The purpose of the session, as I explained to parents, was straight-forward: to share practical ways we can work together to keep children happy, safe, and confident as they explore the online world.

From Year 3 onwards, every child in our Primary School has their own iPad, which opens the door to amazing opportunities for creativity, collaboration, and learning. But this doesn't come without real challenges, too.

In this post, I’ll outline some of the key themes we discussed, the concerns families raised, and the strategies we can all use to help children thrive online.

Restrictions

One of the most effective ways parents can support safe iPad use at home is by setting up Family Sharing (similar options are available on other devices, like Google’s Family Link). This gives children their own Apple ID, managed by parents, and makes it easy to see which apps are being downloaded, approve purchases, and set age-appropriate restrictions.

Explore my quick guides to Family Sharing and Screen Time settings

Through the iPad’s Screen Time settings, families can go further by scheduling Downtime, setting limits on specific apps or categories, restricting who children can communicate with, and applying a wide range of content and privacy controls. These features are simple to use but incredibly powerful in helping children build healthy digital habits.

At the same time, I always emphasise that no setting can replace parental oversight. Parents should know their child’s device passcode and account logins, keep iPads in shared family spaces rather than bedrooms, and feel confident checking devices regularly. Just as importantly, children should see these checks as part of an ongoing, open conversation about digital safety.

Messaging

Group chats are one of the trickiest areas for children to manage online. They can quickly become overwhelming, and seriously affect wellbeing and friendships. Messages can arrive late into the night, and the fast pace of conversation can lead to arguments, unkind comments, and children feeling excluded. For this reason, I encourage families to steer clear of large group chats altogether. One-to-one chats or small groups that include family members tend to be far healthier and easier for children to navigate.

Recently, we’ve also seen a rise in the circulation of “chain messages” on platforms like iMessage. These messages typically try to pressure children into passing them on, often by using fear (“if you don’t send this, then…”) or by including disturbing and sometimes violent content. Encounters like this highlight just how important it is for families to maintain open conversations, set clear boundaries, and check in regularly on children’s devices.

Equally important is helping children build the critical thinking skills they need to question and filter what they see. When they recognise that these kinds of messages are designed purely to provoke fear or go viral, they become better equipped to dismiss them.

Social Media

For many children, social media is one of the biggest temptations once they have their own device. However, most of these platforms are not designed for primary-aged children, and the risks often outweigh any benefits at this stage.

With TikTok for example, although the minimum legal age here in Malaysia is 13 (16 in the EU), Common Sense Media notes that “you can expect swearing and sexual content in some videos” and that “it’s possible to encounter sexually suggestive and explicit material.” This is not content that an 8, 9, or 10 year old is equipped to process.

The same concerns apply to Instagram, which “does not prohibit the portrayal of violence, swear words, or drugs,” and “mature content still appears in some photos and in the comment sections.” Combined with the way algorithms push addictive, adult, or distressing material, Instagram can quickly become unsafe for younger children.

YouTube is a platform families often ask about. It has promising educational and creative potential, but it also carries risks: “plenty of inappropriate content can surface after typing in the most innocent of search terms.” For primary-aged children, YouTube Kids provides a far safer, age-appropriate alternative, giving families peace of mind without cutting children off from the creativity and curiosity these platforms can inspire.

AI

AI is shaping the world our children are growing up in, and it’s already built into many of the tools they use. That’s why I believe it’s important to give children an introduction now, so they grow up with both confidence and understanding, in a safe, structured, and age-appropriate way.

In our classrooms, AI is explored only through child-friendly educational tools, such as Canva’s Magic Media or the AI-based activities on code.org. These are designed with education in mind, and allow children to see how AI can spark creativity and encourage exploration, curiosity, and critical thinking. The focus is never just on “pressing a button for an answer,” but on asking good questions and thinking critically about the results.

At the same time, we are clear about what is not appropriate. Tools such as ChatGPT, Gemini, or Apple Intelligence are not suitable for young children. These platforms carry risks, including misinformation, inappropriate content, and the danger of over-reliance.

Essentially, it's important to discuss both the positives and the limitations of AI - what it can do well, and where it might get things wrong or show bias. In this way, students are introduced to AI gradually and safely, building a foundation for the future without compromising their safety and wellbeing.

Technology at School

While parents play a vital role in keeping children safe with technology, teachers also share in that responsibility. Here, technology is woven into a diverse digital learning curriculum that stretches across all subject areas. Our aim is always to move beyond passive screen time and instead give children opportunities for active creation, problem-solving, and self-expression.

This means students learn coding and robotics to develop logical thinking and resilience, use digital drawing and design tools to express creativity, and explore filmmaking and animation with real technical skills in camera work, editing, and storytelling. They practise structuring ideas and presenting them clearly, and they carry out research with a strong emphasis on information literacy - learning how to find, filter, and evaluate sources critically.

Equally important is a dedicated digital citizenship curriculum; students learn how to look after their personal information and passwords, manage screen time, understand their digital footprints, and communicate responsibly online. We address issues like encountering inappropriate content, how to search the internet effectively, and how to approach news and media with a critical eye.

Through this balanced approach, technology becomes not just a tool for learning, but a foundation for creativity, responsibility, and confidence in a digital world.

Healthy Habits

Ultimately, keeping children happy, safe, and confident online isn’t just about settings and restrictions, it’s also about building healthy digital habits as a family.

A key part of this is media balance. Not all screen time is the same, and the goal isn’t to cut it out altogether, but to make sure it doesn’t replace important things like sleep, exercise, family time, or hobbies. Regular breaks and clear boundaries go a long way toward making technology a positive part of everyday life.

One of the simplest ways to achieve balance is by shifting from consumption to creation. Instead of only watching YouTube videos, children can make their own using Clips or iMovie. Instead of just playing games, they can try coding one in apps like Scratch or OctoStudio. When technology is used creatively, it builds skills and confidence rather than simply filling time.

And of course, children learn best by watching us. Modelling good habits, like putting phones away at mealtimes or choosing to spend time offline, shows them what balance looks like in practice. When they see adults setting boundaries for themselves, they’re far more likely to follow suit.

By combining clear guidance with everyday modelling, families can help children grow up not just safe online, but confident, creative, and balanced in how they use technology.